yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
