Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
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