never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
