she was so not down for the gang bang
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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