I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
