you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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