he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
