I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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