Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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