No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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