We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
