God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
