i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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