Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
this hospital has no fireball
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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