so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
