So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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