I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
