Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
