The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
