wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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