Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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