so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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