is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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