Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Operation Purity has been aborted
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize