Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize