i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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