so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
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