Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize