You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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