So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
