didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
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