It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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