I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
