is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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