I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Of course I have a pirate flag
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
