Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
