4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
