I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
