Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Randomize
