new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
