When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize