escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
