I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
