He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
