you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
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