I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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