I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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