i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
