He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize