thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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