Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
foreskin is a definite game changer
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
