I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
