Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize