you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
be right there i have to get my cape
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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