Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Even the bartender felt bad for me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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