i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
