Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
